You’ve heard of these contests before.

If you can eat this mammoth-sized steak in a certain time period it’s free.

And you get the adulation of a crowd full of gawkers and sometimes you get your picture in the paper.

Well, that’s what happened to Jodie Dumouchel, a Canadian bodybuilder. That’s him on the right below.

He scarfed that rare, 70-ounce steak in 39 minutes and 52 seconds.

Awesome! Or really gross. Take your pick.

Jodie, you’re a bigger man than me.

Well, that’s not hard since I’m not a man. And, um, you’re a bodybuilder. But you know what I mean.

Apparently, there was an also-ran (seen in photo on the left) who wimped out with 10 minutes left to go. God bless him.

Ya gotta give him props for trying — but he didn’t stand a chance.

Photo courtesy of Shannon Quesnel/Elliot Lake Standard.

Have you ever tried eating steak in the car?

Probably not.

What about painting steak ON your car?

Check out this photo by ChuckM. You might wish this guy lived in YOUR neighborhood.

Or not.

Yes, that’s an octopus eating a steak. Imaginative. Yet creepy.

But since I’m all about the steak — no matter what form it takes — I give this a thumbs up.

Can you imagine this guy’s conversation with a valet?

“Uh, yeah, it’s the silver one with the octopus eating a steak on it.”

“Pardon me?”

“My car. Octopus. Steak. What don’t you understand?”

“Sir, can I call you a cab? Or dial 911 for you?”

“Beat it. This guy knows what I’m talking about. He’s been eyeing it all night.”

“I’m on it!” says valet #2 as he sprints toward the COOLEST CAR . . . EVER.

##And scene.## 

Photo courtesy of ChuckM on Flickr.

Are you ready for tax day?

Is anyone really ever ready for tax day? Let’s be real.

But it’s all a part of living in the U. S. of A. So I’m happy to do it when I know some of those taxes go to our men and women in the armed forces and other really good things.

The rest I just ignore — or voice opinions about to my congressman, er, congresswoman.

And since tomorrow I will breathe a huge sigh of relief that this year’s festival of paperwork is over I’m going to celebrate.

And, oh yeah, it’s really close to my wedding anniversary too. So I’ll be celebrating that as well.

We’re going to serve up some juicy ribeyes and toast another year under our belts.

We just won’t mention how both of our belts had to be let out a couple of notches.

I’ll post some photos so you can drool too, okay?

Happy Tax Day/Anniversary/Fill-in-the-Blank Day to you! I think we all could use a little dose of steaky goodness right about now!