I received the following on my Blackberry from a Porterhouse friend of mine. I have no idea how he got my number. Oh, and here’s a guide to some of the text lingo in case you’re unfamiliar or you don’t have a teenager living in your house . . .

uok? look, i know u r sad u couldn’t finish me in 1 sitting. dont worry it hpns 2 lots of ppl.

u r not alone.

BTW, my BFF T-bone gets a lot of that 2.

ma-b u can try again 2moro? im just as gud the next day. NALOPKT.

TKS. TTFN.

-P.

I’ve heard of the steak and fish combo but this one is ridiculous . . .

The folks over at Photoshoppix.com don’t exactly tell us how this came about but I am guessing somebody dreamed this up on his computer using Photoshop.

If you like steak . . . and you like fish . . . and you’re in a hurry . . . and you don’t mind oddly-shaped pieces of meat — this might be just the ticket for you.

I’m sticking with my ribeye, thank you very much.

Photo courtesy Photoshoppix.com. Click here to see it in all its glory.

In the dark recesses of my mind is a twisted view of reality that I only let out every so often. Today, I am sharing it with you. . .

I was pondering life and I decided how much happier we would be if all of the images and talk of s*e*x in our society were replaced with steak.

* We could all get some popcorn and see the “Steak and the City” movie. All age groups would be admitted.

* Victoria’s Secret would be in the business of selling steaky lingerie. Now, doesn’t that sound nice?

* Ross and Rachel from “Friends” could have had a nice filet instead of an unplanned pregnancy.

* My son’s question to me last week would have been, “Mommy, what is steak?” I would much rather have answered that one.

* And, if you’re a “Seinfeld” fan, the now-famous phrase would be, “Steak . . . to SAVE the friendship!”

How much nicer would life be if we could look up at a billboard in Times Square and see a nice, big, juicy Porterhouse? I would not have to explain to my son why there is a larger-than-life photo of a man in his underwear on a city street.

I’m just sayin’ maybe there is room for a movement in our society — away from images of sex and TOWARD images of steaming hot T-bones. I, for one, would be grateful, thankful.

Good day.