February 22nd, 2008

Ya Gotta Have Yer Standards

My neighborhood is filled with eclectic tastes and I really like it that way.

So all right, here’s the scoop on the neighbors across the street.

They don’t eat meat.

Yes, it’s true. Don’t. Eat. Meat.

We, personally, don’t understand that.

My husband and I like to have our friends and neighbors over to the house to share a great meal (usually something we’ve grilled up) and some great conversation.

And the talk always turns to food. Likes, dislikes, best ways to prepare certain foods.

So . . . what would we have to talk about with a couple who doesn’t eat meat?

What would we serve at that dinner party?

Meat is such an essential ingredient for us. It’s the big show. The main event. It’s what we build the entire meal around.

We’re lost without it. We wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong. Our neighbors are wonderful people. We’ve had lively conversations with them out by the curb. And we’d love to have them over.

But only if we can bring them over to the dark side.

Until then, our relationship will have to be restricted to neighborly nods and discussions about weather and landscaping.

It’s just too bad they can’t appreciate the intoxicating smell of a sizzling steak on the grill. They’re missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures.

I wonder what would happen if I left a steaming hot gift basket on their doorstep, rang the bell and ran . . .